Constantines Dream

“Ahh, this bed feels so nice. Much more comfortable than the tent I slept in last night. Gosh, I’m exhausted. Swimming and playing bocce ball in the sun all day long. And then the long drive home from Iowa. These family reunions definitely take their toll, especially when there are two in the same month. Hmph, back to the grind tomorrow. I should set my alarm clock. Hey look at that, I’m actually gonna get more than four hours of sleep tonight! OK, now I need to get out of bed and brush my teeth. I really don’t want to. I’m so tired. I’ll just brush my teeth extra hard tomorrow morning. No, I’ll feel like shit in the morning if I don’t brush my teeth now. It won’t take that long – just get it over with. I can’t. I can’t get out of this bed. I can’t even open my eyes. Well, I should at least pick out some music to listen to as I fall asleep. How about that Chavez CD I just found for $2.00? No, too rockin’. How about Godspeed? No, that’s so cliché; I always listen to that when I go to sleep. Oooh, how about the new Mountain Goats album? It’s so good. But I’ve been listening to it way too much recently. What’s something nice and relaxing that I haven’t heard in a while? When’s the new Xiu Xiu coming out? I really liked that one new song they played the last time I saw them. I wonder if Mercury Rev ever plays anything off of their first two albums when they play live. Even if they didn’t, I’d still like to see them. It’s probably a good thing that their tour with Doves was cancelled. Mercury Rev shouldn’t be opening for Doves, and they definitely shouldn’t be playing Clear Channel shows. I can’t believe all of my cousins are in college now. What was the name of that one girl who I knew in high school? I wonder what she’s up to. I hope my sunburn doesn’t peel too badly. Shoot, I should have applied for more jobs today. Shhh, don’t think about that now. I’ll tackle that tomorrow. How could anybody vote Republican? Fucking heartless. It’s too hot for blankets. I guess I could listen to Galaxie…5… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

*****

“zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…huh? Shit, quit being so lazy. Get out of bed and brush your teeth. OK, I’m out. I’m putting water on my toothbrush. I’m putting toothpaste on my toothbrush. I’m brushing my teeth. See? Now, is this so bad? I’ve gotten pretty good at brushing my teeth without slobbering all over the place. I’m still not as good as most people, though. Oh yeah, before I get back into bed, I should check the 400 Bar website to see when the Constantines are playing. I think it’s sometime this week. I would hate to miss that show. They haven’t been here since…sheesh, 2003. I remember that show – I was looking forward to it for months, but at the last second, I had to skip it to study for a test in a class I thought I was failing. I still regret that decision (especially since I ended up getting an A- in that class – talk about a curve! I was fretting for nothing.) There. I’m finished brushing my teeth. I can go to sleep with no worries now. What was it I was going to do? OK, I’ll check my email. Nope, nothing there. Oh yeah, 400 Bar. OK, let’s see…upcoming shows. Here it is. Constantines: Sunday, July 17th 8:00pm. So that means…wait, what day is it? No. Nononononononono! Tell me I didn’t miss it. OK, calm down. Yes, tonight is Sunday, July 17th. And yes, it does say 8:00. But in 400 Bar time, 8:00 means 10:00. It’s only, umm, 10:15 right now. Should I go? I’ll be really tired tomorrow during work. Why am I even debating this? What’s worse: being tired at work, or living another two years full of regret? Of course I should go! Clothes! I’m not wearing any clothes. OK, get dressed, get my wallet, get my earplugs, get out of here!”

*****

“So many stoplights! Why am I driving my car? I’d get there faster if I biked. Well, it’s too late now. Shit, I gotta stop for cash. Thank goodness the gas station is still open. What the hell? I never run into this many red lights. I think I’ve hit every single one of them! Do they know I’m in a hurry? What am I listening to? I can’t even tell what language they’re speaking. I need to wake up. Have I been listening to this the whole time? OK, there’s my spot. Now run to the 400 Bar!

“I can hear music, and it doesn’t sound like the Constantines. That’s a good sign. Hey, it’s Oxford Collapse, and this is their last song. I wish I could have been here for their entire set. Oh well, this song sounds good. I think I’ll pick up their new CD. Wow, 10:30. I made good time. I can’t believe I was in bed 20 minutes ago. Didn’t think I’d be here tonight.

“Yes! Here they are! The Constantines: a band that has taunted me for years with their perfect albums and their infrequent touring. At last, they’re all mine! I can’t believe this – I’m getting all excited like I used to in high school when I’d drive up from the suburbs to see a show at First Avenue. What’s this? Ah, a new song from the record due out in October! Of course it’s a good song – it’s the Constantines! I can’t wait for the new album. It’s too bad that Three Gut Records is closing up shop after its release, though. Canada will be losing its finest label. At least they’ll be going out with a bang!

“Oh, that’s a familiar hum. And those drums! Yep. Hahaha! ‘Young Lions,’ my freakin’ favorite song! I’m so glad I got out of bed to brush my teeth! Yeah, more awesome new songs, more hits! And a cover of ‘Why I Didn’t Like August 93’ by Elevator to Hell (another group of Canadians turned Sub Poppers). Oh c’mon, they gotta do an encore. Phew, they’re back. ‘Insectivora’ and ‘Seven A.M.’ Good, these rockin’ numbers should inject me with enough energy for the drive home.”

*****

“Funny, I’m hitting all green lights on the way back. Figures. OK, it is now officially my bedtime. I already brushed my teeth, so I can rest easy. Ahh, this bed feels so nice. I still need to pick out some music, though. How about some Ladybug Tran… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”