What the Hell Was That All About!?

I decided to emerge out of my room to see why my roommate was making such a ruckus downstairs. Turns out, none of my roommates were home. Nope, no one was home except for me and a fucking bird! What the hell? All our doors and windows were shut - I have no idea how it got in my house.

I left the bird alone for one second so I could find a paper bag (the ideal bird trap), but when I came back, the bird had disappeared. It didn't take very long for me to find him again. I just had to put myself in the bird's shoes. I thought to myself, "If I was a bird in a strange human house, and someone was coming after me with a paper sack, where would I go? Of course! I'd fly into Lee's room and hide under his bed."

After a strategic repositioning of my bed, I was able to coax the bird out of his hiding place. As he tried to escape out of my closed window, I nabbed him with the paper sack. It worked! I released him outside, and he flew to freedom.

Dammit, now I have to go and pick up all the cups he knocked off the shelf in the kitchen.