Lists

Reaction #1:

C’mon Pitchfork – the #2 album of the last five years is Jay-Z’s The Blueprint? Really? Why not Justin Timberlake? Why not Nickelback?

So you don’t want to be dismissed as pretentious indie snobs? You want to build your journalism credibility by showing that you can expand into other genres, and that you can review mainstream music with an unbiased eye? Well, that’s very noble of you, but you’re obviously trying too hard.

There already are plenty of music journals out there that people don’t take seriously. Leave the praise of uninspired mainstream artists to them. Pitchfork, the reason why you have such a dedicated readership is because you stay ahead of the game. You keep up with the ever-shifting trends in underground music (and sometimes you create the trends). People come to you to read about innovative and underexposed music – music that is something more than bulk fodder for rampant American consumerism.

So why would you choose to ignore the thousands of underground hip-hop acts that have really pushed the boundaries of the genre – the artists who have made incredible advances by approaching hip-hop from previously unexplored angles? These artists are the reason why hip-hop continues to evolve creatively at an exponential rate. We already read about Jay-Z and Missy Elliott in RollingStone and saw them on MTV. Why would you jump on that bandwagon when, instead, you could be chronicling a very exciting and pivotal era in underground hip-hop?

Your list of the Top 100 Albums of 2000-04 is a bunch of BS. Pull your head out of your ass.

Reaction #2:

Hey look at the albums that made Pitchfork’s list:
The Unicorns – Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?
Godspeed You Black Emperor! – Lift Yr Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven
Fugazi – The Argument
Broken Social Scene – You Forgot It in People

Haven’t I been telling all you people how amazing these albums are? Some of you doubted me. But now it’s obvious that your skepticism is completely unfounded. After all, Pitchfork agrees with me. This only confirms that I have excellent judgment when it comes to music. You can’t even argue against that fact now.

Thank goodness for Pitchfork’s list of the Top 100 Albums of 2000-04!

Conclusion:

My friend Ellie writes, “It is very entertaining to make fun of [Pitchfork’s] pretensions for three minutes and then spend the next five agreeing that one of their choices was really quite spot-on.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I absolutely love lists. When you disagree with an item on a list, it’s so gratifying to criticize the list makers and to show off your superior knowledge and taste. But when you happen to agree with an item on a list, suddenly the list becomes a confirmation and a justification for whatever you believe. You can then use the list to show off your superior knowledge and taste. What fun.

Come to think of it, what this blog needs are some good lists. I think my next post will be a list of some sort. I wonder what it should be. Let me dwell on it for a bit. I’ll get back to you.