I Smell Great!

Last night, I did something that I’ve never been able to do before. I spent hours in a bar hanging out with friends! Oh, how I used to hate being in bars that didn’t host live music. I don’t drink, so if there wasn’t a show going on, I had a lot of trouble putting up with smoke-filled bars – even if all my friends were there. The cigarette smoke would make me feel miserable, and I couldn’t stand the smell of my clothes afterwards.

Yesterday was the first day of the Hennepin County indoor smoking ban. My friends invited me out to a couple of bars, and I actually stuck around the entire night! My social life was no longer hampered by smoke-filled rooms. I actually felt a strong sense of freedom – I was free to have fun with friends in a bar, and I was free to breathe (opponents of the ban said that it would infringe on our freedom). Opponents also said that Minneapolis bars would lose a lot of money due to the ban. Well, Psycho Suzi’s and Keegan’s were both pretty crowded last night. Guess what. Even non-smokers like to drink, and a smoking ban is definitely not going to stop smokers from drinking. And even though I wasn’t buying alcohol, I was still spending money at the bars (and I’m a very good tipper). Guess how much money I used to spend at bars. Yep, $0.00.

I got home last night and I felt perfectly healthy. My pillow and bed sheets didn’t reek of stale smoke when I woke up, and I’m still wearing the same clothes that I wore yesterday – and I don’t smell like shit! Amazing!

To all the people who’ve been complaining about the smoking ban, I feel so sorry for you! I’m so sorry that you’ve been forced into considering how your actions affect other people. Haha, April fools!!!